Working it Out

My mind was wide open this afternoon, unable to focus, like dilated pupils trying to read a blackboard.  I felt once again like time was a great, rushing river, racing away from me.  I came home on a bike, aware of the benefit of my hilly peddling, yet still off-kilter.  Cue instinctive reach for a glass of water in the garden in the cloudy evening light.  A little attentive focus on the breath, a little observation of my body and the world around me and something inside settled down.  My mind re-focused, my insides un-clenched.  Lovely - those quiet moments of returning to self.  

Once again, I need to remember, to live in the idea that time is infinite and every moment lasts forever.  I skip ahead so frequently and it does me harm.  It harms me.  Here I am, observing my life in this moment. 

• Warm lamp light
• Spinning ceiling fan
• The sound of Peter's voice in the other room
• The feel of my toe separators, separating away
• Breath in
• Breath out

I am not at work.  I am not in Friday.  I am not in next week.  I am here.  I am in my bedroom writing this, writing this.  

Fall is a time of settling down and I need it.  I'm returning to a little more yoga and it's helping.  I am in need of centered awareness, of self-settling.  Breath in and out.  Observe the breath.  Return to self.