Sunday, January 27, 2013

The Sacred in Women

I've started reading this book called The Feminine Face of God.  I'm only two chapters in and I already want everyone I know to read it.  Listen to this:
For until we can speak our truth and know that we have been heard, we don't wholly know it ourselves.
Holy fuck.  Let's just stop for a moment with that one.  There is not much that is more life-giving than feeling that you have been really heard.  How many of us have discovered truth as we spoke it aloud to someone who cared to hear us?

Moving on to this:  What does it mean to be spiritual as a woman?  I do believe that every individual's journey is different, so what I really mean is this - what does it mean for me, as a woman, to be spiritual?  Yes, that is more what I mean.  I am me.  And who am I is a woman.  I'm starting to think that is something that is deeply important, rather than one more fact about who I am.

Here's another thing from this book:
Each woman (that the authors interviewed) decided to stop looking to authority figures outside herself for the truth, and to trust that what she experienced as sacred was indeed sacred.
 All these things have been floating around in my head for a few months now.  What is sacred to me?  How do I encounter and invite the sacred into my life?  What does that mean for me as a woman?  Who will talk with me about these things??

I'm ready to have more conversations about this.

I need to find some women who will sit on couches with wine and get into it with me.  Let's speak truth and be heard.  Sooner, rather than later.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Dream Gift

I had a dream a few weeks ago.  In the dream I was walking to a tiny house that was situated on the beach right where the water and the sand meet.  This little house was wholly mine for whenever I wanted to go away to it.  Inside was a tiny living room and kitchen that were practically one room.  There were a lot of windows.  A little ladder led to a loft with a bed.  The house was just right for me and I was just right for the house.  When the tide came in the little house would float up in the water.  It was made well though, and no water ever got in, even though the house would sink down slightly if someone was inside.  It just bobbed along, tightly sealed against leaks.  I stepped out of the house and a big gust of wind blew me a hundred feet up in the air.  In my dream this was not frightening.  It surprised me, and I thought, "Who knew?  Apparently it's a true thing in my life now that wind can gust me up this high."  I knew that I wanted to be over water when the wind let me down, so I steered with my body to stay along the coastline as the wind blew me along.  Eventually I landed in a bay.  I crawled out of the bay and met a fisherman.  He was an old man who I instinctively knew would not believe that the wind had dropped me in his bay.  I felt very defensive as I told him that it was true, the wind had brought me there.  When I left the fisherman, I ran back to my little house, which was now floating several feet above the sand in the high tide.  I dove under the water and saw a tether connecting my house to something deep in the sand so it could not float away.

Then I woke up.

This dream came unexpectedly, on a night when I had been reading a horror story and thinking I might have nightmares.  I called a friend to talk about my dream and this is what we discovered:

Houses often symbolize the self in dreams.  My house was just right for me and I felt perfectly fitted there, in both mind and body.

My house was on the beach where the surf and sand meet and the tide comes in and out.  Apparently, "to see the beach in your dream symbolizes the meeting between your two states of mind. The sand is symbolic of the rational and mental processes while the water signifies the irrational, unsteady, and emotional aspects of yourself. It is a place of transition between the physical/material and the spiritual."

This is where my house lived.  

The Wind is a very interesting element of this dream.  Wind can symbolize Spirit, the spirit within us, or sometimes the beginning of a deeper awareness within ourselves.  The Wind tends to have a spiritual element to it, and that is what my friend pointed out.  In my dream, the introduction of this new spiritual element seemed very natural to me.

This is where it gets interesting to me.  After the Wind dropped me in the bay, I felt the need to convince the fisherman that my experience was real.  I have felt the need in my waking life to defend my new spiritual awakening, a journey that feels very natural and real to me, to others who seem distrustful of its legitimacy.  Perhaps that is what was going on with the fisherman.

When I returned to my house, I saw that it was anchored to something deep in the sand.  Anchors represent security and stability.  My house was not going to float away.  It was safe.

My friend told me that this sounded like a blessing of a dream.  As he said that, I felt so strongly the truth of it that tears came to my eyes.  This dream seemed to me to be a reminder that while I am in transition, while my soul is living at this meeting of the physical and the spiritual, I am not going to be swept away.  I am safely tethered.  To what?  I don't know.  And this new and yet wonderfully natural awakening of my spirit is not frightening or overwhelming, but an exciting new truth in my life.

I am exploring so many new places and learning so many new things.  But I am not afraid.  I feel freedom.  I feel that something beautiful is happening in my life and I am prepared to be here, to live in this transition and to find out where this adventure will take me.

Thank you for reading and sharing this with me.  I'm reminded of something I read a few months ago:
Offer your experience as your truth.
This is what I am trying to do.