Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Ladies of Darkness, Ladies of Light

and Ladies of never-you-mind.  
This is a prayer for a Blueberry Girl.  
First, may you Ladies be Kind.

Ladies of Grace and Ladies of Favor
and Ladies of Merciful Night
This is a prayer for a Blueberry Girl.
Grant her your clearness of Sight.

Ladies of Paradox, Ladies of Measure
Ladies of Shadows that Fall
This is a prayer for a Blueberry Girl.
Words written clear on a wall.

It is exhausting to maintain passionate energy for any significant length of time.  I find myself wondering, "Is this really that important?" or, worse yet, "maybe I'm just worked up over nothing."

It's not nothing.  But I am tired.  Life has a habit of filling you up with all-consuming, all-draining details.  It makes me think of that game we played as kids, where you had someone imagine that you were slicing them open, filling their body with sand and then sewing them back up again.  When it was my turn, I felt each limb getting heavier and heavier and by the time I opened my eyes, I could hardly move.

I need to find ways to rid myself of this excess weight.  Some cleansing, quiet ritual that will open me up and let all the sand run out onto the bathroom floor.

Which brings me to something I've been wanting to write about, and talk about and do.  Ritual.

Like symbols, rituals are ways to make the intangible tangible.  There is so much in life that is mysterious, that defies not only explanation but language.  Rituals, symbols, images, these are ways to connect to Something that is otherwise beyond us.  It's the language we understand.  I think we've been using them from the beginning of our story in this world.

I think that in order to feel as though this is a lasting change in me, I will need to begin making the intangible tangible.  I will need to create some rituals.  I'm not sure what those will look like just yet, but I need to hold something in my hands.  I need to breathe deep and do meaningful things to remind myself that I am not the same.  This is important.  I woke up.  And I need to remember that I did.

There is no savor more sweet, more salt / than to be glad to be what, woman / and who, myself

I would love to talk more about Ritual.  If you have something to share, please leave a comment!

P.S.  The poem at the top of the blog is an excerpt from the Neil Gaiman book Blueberry Girl.  It reads to me like a prayer.  I have the book at home if you want to come by and read it sometime.