one flat tire

I felt so self-sufficient today as I changed my tire in the parking lot. "Look at me!" I thought, "I know how to do this! I am awesome." I rubbed my smudgy fingers together and smiled at the dark marks on my jeans. This is what it is to be an independent woman. I almost wanted some man to see me and come up and offer to help just so I could say, "Thanks, but I got this." Haha. I have known how to handle a flat since I was about fifteen. I am confident in my tire-changing skillz and I really like to do it. Seriously, if you get a flat and you are near to me I will come and change it for you.

But then it turns out that my tire is beyond repair! And the Les Schwab guy told me that at least two of my tires need to be replaced. So I drove my little car home and put it in the garage and backed out the Blazer and moved all of my things from one car to the other. Things like my ipod, my face lotion, and my sleeping bag. Because I can't afford two new tires right now. And I can't do anything about that. So I move my things and I wait until I can. There are other things to focus on. But it made me feel a little less self-sufficient. A little less independent. A little less ready to move on and move out. It's hard. But I can't help that.

I've been praying more lately. This week was a good week for prayer. For focused prayer, that is. I have unfocused prayer all the time - little thoughts I flick at God almost without thinking. I like that. But I've been writing out my prayers this week and I think that's been right. I re-read through some old blogs too and re-prayed all those old thoughts and moments. They were good ones. Like this:

I remembered that this is not new, this waiting thing. Millions before me have learned this lesson, and have waited for God to work. have waited to hear His voice. and have been rewarded with the promise of His faithfulness over and over again.

That was good to remember. Also, this:

i know that God has done all things well. that He does all things well. and that He will continue to do all things well. and i will seek rest for my soul even as i do not have time to seek rest for my mind or my spirit or my body.

He has done all things well. Praise the LORD, O my soul.